Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize