Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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