Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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