I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
