Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
