The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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