so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
