I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
