Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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