the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
