So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
