so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
