Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
