I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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