You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
