just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
