Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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