OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
