plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
