OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I haven't been this sober since birth.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize