Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
