so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
