Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She just used a chaser for red wine.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
