Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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