where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
