He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
