Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
