so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
