she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
