There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
