I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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