Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
