I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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