I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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