I love black thongs
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
