There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
