I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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