Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
