lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
