this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
