This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize