In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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