Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
