she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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