Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
