Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
