why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
