her vagina looked like bernie madoff
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
