But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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