Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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