You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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