I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
