Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
