So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
