It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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