My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
