everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
