Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
