You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
