I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
